MERI Blog
What’s wrong with Civil Unions?
The recent media coverage of how few couples actually entered into civil unions in July is shining a light on what we already know about this terrible Rhode Island civil union law. We know that the civil union law raises more questions than answers about how same-sex couples can really protect our families. Between the giant loophole for religious entities, the bill’s silence on how existing marriages will be treated, the inability to ever access federal protections through a civil union, and the very real concern that no one else understands what protections a civil union really provides, same-sex couples are understandably cautious before rushing into this lesser status the general assembly saw fit to establish for LGBT people only.
But the explanations for these low numbers by both supporters of the law and opponents of equality are just missing the point. People are not waiting for the end of the summer to rush to City Hall and get a civil union license. About 14,000 Illinois couples have applied for licenses under their civil union law over two months. Couples in New York certainly weren’t stopped by the slower pace of summer living. In the first DAY marriage licenses were available to same-sex couples in New York, an estimated 1,200 couples applied. We know that same-sex couples need the protections that civil unions are supposed to provide, but the civil union law simply has too many unknowns. Why should gay and lesbian couples have to spend money, time, and aggravation to figure out what a civil union really means in Rhode Island? Additionally, many same-sex couples have already been married out of state. Why would those couples want to pay to get their marriage downgraded to an arbitrary second-class status?
As for our friends at NOM, Chris Plante is exactly right that the struggle for marriage equality is not just about rights or benefits or privileges. It’s about fairness and equality and dignity. Marriage equality is a concept, a philosophy, that ALL loving committed couples should be treated the same. People want to get MARRIED so they can stand up in front of their friends and families and proclaim their love for one another. People want the stability and recognition that comes with marriage. They want to talk about their husband or wife and have people just understand the value of that relationship. It’s time we had elected officials that understood what marriage means and why it’s important. It’s time for politicians to understand that equality is not something you can “compromise” on. The LGBT citizens of Rhode Island deserve to be treated equally.
Tell us in the comments why you don’t want a Rhode Island civil union. We’ll share these stories with the supporters of the bill so they hear firsthand why we’re waiting for marriage.
9 comments
Angie on August 17, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Here’s an analogy:
It reminds me of an old joke: A cop pulls someone over for not stopping at the stop sign, and the driver explains that he slowed down (yielded). Then the cop starts hitting the driver over the head with his baton and asks the driver if he wants him to stop or just slow down; A civil union is the equivalent of yielding and is not equal to full marriage rights.
Kim Carrier on August 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Civil Unions are nothing more than solidifying the LGBT as Second Class Citizens. It makes our loving committed relationships nothing more than second Class status when compared to marriages of opposite sex couples. It is making DISCRIMINATION LEGAL in the state of Rhode Island. Our Governor promised to sign a bill making SAME SEX MARRIAGE legal, and chose to cop out with our legislators, and signed the Second Class status of every committed same sex couple in the state. It is time to revers the course, and sing same sex MARRIAGE into law. our time has come. We are taxed equally, we should be treated equally!
Peter Deffet on August 17, 2011 at 9:02 pm
Personally, a ‘civil union’ seems more like an insult as an institution than anything I’d like to be part of.
What’s more, legal protections between any same sex spouses are much more likely to stick through power of attorney and such than through a ‘civil’ union.
Thanks again, RI Legislature for screwing it up like you always do. At least you’re consistent.
Andrew on August 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Well said. My partner and I already entered into a civil union in Vermont in 2001 (the only option nationwide at the time) and were married in Massachusetts in 2008. Now, our home state of Rhode Island is asking us to enter into an inferior legal union, because it refuses to recognize our already solemnized marriage? No thank you. Full equality or nothing.
Ahem on August 17, 2011 at 10:42 pm
“Additionally, many same-sex couples have already been married out of state. Why would those couples want to pay to get their marriage downgraded to an arbitrary second-class status?“
Um, maybe because there is absolutely no guarantee that RI will recognize these out of state marriages, despite the media spin by the advocates which has confused many people?
If people think their out of state marriages are recognized by our state’s law, please see the heartbreaking case of Mark Goldberg, not to mention the scores of couples who want divorces but can’t get them. Anyone in a same-sex marriage from out of state should have every possible document to protect their relationship as if they are not married, because it is only by good luck, confusion or a kindly bureaucrat or such that their marriages will be recognized when they need it. Kthxbai.
Carol on August 18, 2011 at 7:20 am
My wife and I got married in Provincetown in 2007. We will not step backwards. As far as we can see, entering into a civil union will not improve our situation.
Anne and I have been together for 24 years. We have already been thru the trip to the lawyer to collect our “papers”. We have been thru a number of hospital trips and have not had to produce the “papers” yet. We believe that if the “papers” ever have to be brought out,they will be inadequate. Anyone who chooses to challenge us as a legal couple will not be detered by “papers”. Our only protection on that day will be a full and equal marriage in the state we live in. When equal marriage is passed, then simply “being” married will be sufficient to open the door. Until then anyone who chooses to close the door will be able to close it and leave us waiting for our lawyer to help us enforce our “papers” and we both know that by then one of us may have passed away without a last kiss.
Diane Goldsmith on August 18, 2011 at 10:48 am
Linda and I are legally married just on the other side of the bridge over the Pawcatuck River. We want our marriage recognized on both sides of that bridge. Also given the religious exemptions, I feel we are better off with Power’s of Attorney and Health Proxies.
Carol 2 on August 20, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Already are CA-RDPs (common local abbreviation for California Registered Domestic Partners). We were looking forward to being able to get married in my partners homestate of RI with friends and family.
Our union here in California will honor married ss spouses for pension benefits if you were married someplace where it was legal (since it’s not in CA anymore thanks to groups like, but not limited to, NOM). Contrary to what Rep Fox claimed, that marriage was moot since RI marriage would not be recognized by the federal government, it is recognized by our local union and would help us feel secure in our senior years. RI civil unions do nothing for us, in fact would be a step backwards.
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JJF on August 17, 2011 at 8:46 pm
This so-called civil unions bill doesn’t allow my partner to get a divorce from his husband. They were married in 2004 in MA before Romney slammed the door on out-of-state same-sex marriages and the RI State Supreme Court slammed the door on divorces. No marriage equality, no divorce so we can get married. Get the picture!